The Eviction

The Eviction

The Eviction
The Eviction

When Adam Carp, an struggling off-off-Broadway director, gets an Eviction Notice slipped under his door, he thinks it’s a prank. His investigation, however, reveals it’s an official document.

And not only is he being evicted, but the entire human race Acting Troupe. The Notice states that the “Earth Theatre” was rented to Adam’s ancestor-directors centuries ago by “The Authors,” who listed several conditions in the lease–most notably, the troupe must follow The Script and abide by the Drama Code and the Ten Conducts included therein.

Now, on Christmas Eve, it seems The Authors have had enough of the troupe’s Code Violations—The Eviction is slated for the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve, and nothing can stop it.

To alert the world to the imminent eviction, Adam lands a guest spot on a quirky radio talk show–Never Say Never! But the host and the callers are having none of Adam’s crazy story, demanding that The Authors provide a sign of their existence before anyone should believe any of it. Fortunately, Herb Kropotkin, Earth Stage Manager calls in, and promises to provide the sign that night at exactly 10:00 pm. What’s more, The Authors are bringing in Irv Rosenman, Special Effects, to produce a doozy of a sign!

At 10:00 pm Adam and Harriet Blefko, a young actress in Adam’s latest play, are having sex, drinking heavily, and bantering about the impending Eviction in Adam’s loft, when a tremendous BOOING erupts– so loud that many Actors go deaf or suffer punctured eardrums all across the Earth Stage.

The next morning two FBI agents take Adam away in handcuffs.

A few hours later Adam finds himself in the Oval Office, being interrogated by the President, her cabinet officials, and the Joint Chiefs of Staff—all with wads of cotton stuffed in their ears–for his role in the “Great Sonic Booing” or GSB.

Adam explains his theory: Centuries ago the homo sapiens troupe was wandering the Universe, when The Authors took pity and leased them the Earth Theatre. But centuries of Code Violations—Jesus on the cross, the Spanish Inquisition, witch burnings, World Wars, KKK hangings, 9/11, global warming, to name only a few—have led to the Eviction Notice.

In short, Shakespeare’s “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players” is not just a great poetry—it’s been reality for centuries of the human race. The troupe did not follow The Script and generally botched the whole production.

When asked how the eviction could be stopped, Adam replies, “You and the other Producers must give the Stage back to the Actors!” Which enrages the President: “Impossible!” she declares. “That reeks of socialism!”

In the days before New Year’s Eve, NASA scientists invent a reason for the GSB (“a rare atmospheric disturbance”) and the world actors forget about the GSB, the impending Eviction, and Adam, who is rotting away in prison. When Harriet visits Adam, she pleads with him not to give up—he’s the only one who can stop the eviction. When Herb Kropotkin joins them in Adam’s cell, he brings great news—they’re bringing back Irv Rosenman for Closing Night!

Horrified and yet inspired by Harriet’s support, Adam pulls out the lease and finds a loophole: If the Director disputes the Code Violations, he is entitled to an expedited hearing in front of The Authors.

What happens at the hearing? Do Adam and Harriet persuade The Authors to cancel the Eviction? Or does Irv Rosenman deliver a doozy od a Closing Night? You’ll have to read The Script…

Written by Hal Straus and Matt Straus (USA)

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